Hopefully the sarcasm came through. (Not as clever as not jumping to conclusions and asking him about it, to be fair.). This. I cant even, op said further down that they took a video. After I left my physically/emotionally abusive ex, her family was upset that I had told my family what had happened to cause me to call off our engagement. I took a video of the damage before I cleaned it to go home. AIR HER OUT TO YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. TBH I came here expecting something totally different. They both had kids with crazy women Now them and I will never fully be free of these crazy women. I cant even fathom thinking, you know what would make this complete, my tampon! Its seriously unhinged. Whats next? Call the police on her. Go ahead and press charges on this disgusting person. That's unfair. Your initial comment was a little petty but 100% backed up by what she did ffs. She lacks maturity and if that is what your brother is into, if that is what he wants to defend that is on him. Is it horrible that I want to see this footage? Go scorched earth. Were you homeschooled? Although, I wouldn't count on it being enough to fix this kind of jealousy problem. How many tampons can a girl have? That is a psycho 12 year old and your brother needs to drop that nasty mess before he catches a charge. Tell them you're trying to associate with people who will validate you, and you'd rather not be around people who would defend such outrageous behavior at your expense. Anyone who thinks you should reconcile is the mad one. Yeah there is an age difference, but there was no reason to be unsupportive from the beginning. Some very concerning behavior all around. She embarrassed herself with her psychotic behaviour! Buffy is complaining to Giles about Faith and says that. NTA. Her being so quick to assume he's cheating suggests that she's that quick to cheat. You should file the police report regardless. its nice they want to apologize but they don't actually want to make amends. NTA she's lucky you didn't press charges. Do not ever let her near you! made me blurt laugh. ESH. For just in case. I wouldnt talk to either of them while shes involved in his life. You didnt know it was her, Holy shit! Who does that? Not only is her first thought of seeing him with another woman (I assume she knew he has a sister?) NTA. Did she follow him to the outing with you? That is sooo far from normal behaviour. I'd be more understanding if she just kicked a mirror. But to say it's not at all correlated is obvious lies and stupidity. Its just, pathetic at best from your brothers side is all. NTA report it to the police if they dont want to pay they will be dealing with the legal consequences. Im going to guess that shes extremely physically attractive and your brother is extremely basic. Sooooo because "she's sorry about it" that's makes everything okay and we can all stop talking about it now.? As long as he's with her, you're better just cutting them both out since you won't be able to have him without her, the crazy types like that will be very controlling. . Odds are you are going to have to file a police report to get that footage. This woman needs help and you sweeping it under the rug is just as bad as the rest of your family and hers trying to wash it away with an apology. Anne needs therapy. You need to press charges on that nasty lunatic. Yikes. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Its weird as fuck lol. However, your brothers asshole girlfriend kinda proved your point. Plenty of people over the age of 20 are in college. She was literally spying on him obviously for her to pick the right car of who he is meeting with is exceptionally crazy and scary. Being angry and wanting to do something in the heat of the moment, and actually doing something are two totally different things. If she was mature for her age, the comments wouldn't bother him. The only reason grown men chase after women in their late teens and early twenties is because they are niave and easily controlled. Do you have pictures of what she did to the car. I have to admit, Im loving your salty comments about the fetus hes dating. Well, that escalated quickly. Your brother is skiing by some serious red flags if he doesn't think he will be on the receiving end in the future. She's not sorry. It was disgusting. He can be with little ole disgusting all he wants, but he's going to have to live with the fact that you all know what she did. And anyone who wants to put any type of blame or shame on you is out of their damn minds as well. That girl is a complete crazy person, god. Just a thought. This is next level pms. If my gf did this to anyone I would be HORRIFIED, and I don't know how I would see her as nothing more than an insane person. Some of these children out here are acting like fools. Looks like your judgement of the age difference might have had a little validity to it after all. An insurance claim on car fax that says "period blood" is going to deter people from wanting to buy it. You should file a police report for the damage caused to your car regardless of whether or not you were able to fix it. I can totally see a world where she's overreacting, which there is precedent for, and she's really embarrassed or whatever, but that "emotional damage" was an invention of Op's brother in this game of telephone, Not sure i have much of a point here, but the possibility that she didn't say that herself does make it a bit easier for me to be sympathetic. and call it good, but you wouldn't be wrong to change your mind. You could seriously damage your case otherwise. I agree with you, but to be clear, I never refused to meet her because of her age. NTA. Press charges (I hope youve saved all the texts), and seek compensation from her insurance as well. She's unhinged. So you telling the truth about Annes disturbing behavior is now your fault? I have no idea why she thought that would be ok. I would never wanna meet her either. I know this is a serious situation, and you are obviously treating it as such but "How many tampons can a girl have?" Just her deciding to vandalize the car of who she thought was the woman she was being cheated on with is shitty on its own, you punish the cheater NOT the person who they cheated with. Women my age are so boring, they'd just want to talk about their feelings.". NTA in the main plot of the story. Damn, Im sorry no one ever told your brother not to stick his dick in crazy. NTA she is disgusting and you couldn't pay me to meet her. Yes please go get that ASAP and file charges. Anyone who says that someone they are interested in is "mature for their age" its a massive red flag and fucking creepy. BTW NTA. Or is there a sealant that protects it? Full blown NTA for you, 10 megaton asshole for your brother and Anne and anyone in your family that is wanting you to just 'play nice'. Needless to see the phrase, "No really, I'm surprised at how mature she is too" has never left his mouth. Youre right, sex alone would not be worth this shit - but its never just about sex. Haha mine either. She went from 0 to a million in a split second without even talking to your brother first? Dangerous crazy, You don't just keep a used tampon on you at all times? Sure, gf is absolutely an A H and you are NTA, but I have to wonder why she jumped to that conclusion - and why your brother is happy dating someone who would act like that.
AITA for calling my bf's sister a bitch? : r/AmItheAsshole - reddit NTA. As a (relatively) sane woman who menstruates, I cannot fathom where she got the idea to use presumably her used tampon to vandalize a car. I don't think I could ever forgive somebody who did something like that to me unless they changed a LOT, but somebody with that mindset probably won't do much growing throughout their life. And you probably have a lot of text proof about the events too. She embarassed herself. I did say in some other comments but she suspected he was cheating, followed him, I guess watched us having coffee and joking around, followed ME back to my car and when I just got my bags and went back into town to get my stuff, she must have just gone nuts on the car. Disgusting and indicative of anger management issues. If she wanted to apologize she would send you the money for the damages. I don't like her for that reason alone, she didn't even proof she just went ahead and did it. Apparently describing the damage has not been clear enough. She took a clean sanitary pad, smeared fast food strawberry jam on it and put it jam side down under his windshield wiper. And yet you don't attach one smidgen of responsibility to your brother, whose actions here are suspicious as hell. Why do people think its smart to vandalize their exs car when theyre mad? Even if she never touches him, other men will think she does, and they like the feeling of being admired/envied. But if she did, you also don't have to forgive her. They don't care enough about you to want to have to make an opinion, and are angry you "tried put them in that drama". Did you explain how you thought it might be your abusive ex to your brother? I've seen way too many women (and girls during my teen years) who have gone ape shit on other women near their boyfriend. Tell your brother cough up the money or you'll NEVER drop it. Just get it over with and file the report on her already, you have enough information to get them to look into it. If it was a guy whod bust a but all over the car in revenge if gender roles were reversed police would be phoned. stuff is that if I had been 'the other woman' that STILL wouldn't have MADE WHAT SHE DID OKAY. I took a video of the damage before I cleaned it up enough to get in my car, but by the time I was home and I'd done a couple of circuits of the house trying to calm down and stop shaking - because at the time I had no idea what had happened - my brother had texted me to tell me it was Anne. Anyone who thinks you need to accept an apology from that level of crazy is also crazy, cos you know, she wants to give you flowers, not used tampons! But if he doesnt at least reimburse you, and hes making YOU the bad guy, does he really care if youre in his life? Your brothers girlfriend is absolutely NUTS. I do think that if your brother doesn't pay you back, then you should take Anne to small claims court. Yeah NTA what the hell is your brother thinking? She SHOULD be embarrassed. NTA. But you have wisely chosen to stay away. "Well actually..". Fuck being a better person when the other is a complete psycho. NTA for calling your brother's girlfriend "disgusting" and refusing to meet her after what she did to your car. And your brother is a whole other issue by himself. It is such a crazy reaction. He's been with Anne for about five months, but I've never met her for various reasons from both of our ends - he said he wanted to get to know her properly before introducing her to us all, and I made a crack along the lines of "Yeah, well, twelve year olds are known to be unpredictable" which made him sulk for a while too. I hope she needs to shout this memory out of her head every time shes alone with her thoughts in the shower. Youll need it. I would file charges. This isnt even human behavior. Of COURSE she's embarrassed, what she did was disgusting and ridiculous - thank god she at least has the sense to feel that way, there may be some hope for her yet. i tried a few ways to be more inclusive and accurate, but the joke just didn't hit as hard. My advice to you is to just keep a distance and let nature run its course. You also have a civil suit. Anne however, has the mentality of a 14 year old. I guarantee this incident has reduced the value of your car forever. So yeah the video combined with the text of the brother admitting his gf did it would be enough. Nta she shouldnt have fucked up your car even if he was cheating, also your brothers gross for dating someone that much younger than him, Id warn your brother to set up cameras around his car before he dumps her crazy ass before too long. You should hire an attorney and sue her for the damage to your car. You cant change willfully destructive people into decent citizens and it is *not* worth the time and effort to try when this woman is literally nothing to you. Any relationship with this woman is made a few steps short of heaven. Even if you hadn't been his sister, for that to be her natural reaction to him spending time with another girl is insane and disturbing. I mean. NTA and stand your ground. We can all see you're still trying to learn how to adult, but that is definitely NOT the way to it. That said, is OP'S brother predatory? Just considering there might be a chance that she has some sort of mental illness, don't spread the video around. Cause I'd call the pice. Hopefully theyll break up sooner than later, but her reaction is NOT OK no matter WHO she thought you were! Cant get off Scott free being nuts. TIL. You dont just do that to someones property, especially if you have no proof.. also that's a little absurd and vandalism. Anne is unstable and hopefully your brother will be done with her soon. You are so NTA!!! This girl definitely has the potential to ruin his life. NTA. There were multiple points at which she COULD have looked at herself and gone, 'hey, maybe I'm a little overboard' or even 'you know, maybe I should get the facts first'. The age gap is weird to me too, and she clearly is lacking maturity. I'd say you are NTA, but your brother should take this as a "red" flag. Sorry just having a hard time wrapping my head around this. If she has admitted to keying your car, isn't that property damage that your insurance company will want details on? Then I kept reading, and wow, that is pretty disgusting. How awful! I mean, calling the cops would have been my first response on seeing my vandalized car. Maybe she had a bag prepared. he can pay, but someone's going to repay me. It is very irresponsible to throw around things like a Cluster B diagnosis based on information from a stranger on the internet. She needed to call the cops right then and there and had this crazy person held liable for the damage she did. It's fucking weird is what it is, if you're not a caveman. Like you said even if your brother had been cheating that's not an appropriate reaction. I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE HER THE TIME OF DAY. Somewhere along the same lines of spitting on someone, and can 100% be enforced. What she did is called vandalism and you should go ahead and report her to the police. Youre absolutely right my dog has never pissed on a person to claim them as hers. NTA. Also, I honestly didnt know that bleach isnt harmful to car paint. Im sorry this happened to you. What she did is so beyond belief. And your family sees no red neon flags here? Shes got mental / anger management / trust issues. At this point, tell your family to drop it as youd like to forget it and live your life. Even if you dont have the footage, you have the text messages of her admitting she did it, and receipts of what it cost to fix your car. That his gf is truly disturbing? I probably shouldn't have said that, but the age gap is weird to me. Smearing bodily fluids is animalistic and sick. Even if she had proof he was cheating, and that the other woman knew he had a GF, and knew it was her car, it still would have been too crazy. When someone starts regressing as a human just because they're angry, that's a dangerous person. Your brother and family may not agree with filing a report and itll probably suck for you for a while after filing a report but this is the best way for you to protect yourself and help him in the future should she turn on him. "ANNE" IS NASTY. Still childish and embarrassing, but it would still just seem like a symptom of her being just past a teenager. Thats a mistake. Man the more I read the more most family's are like mine. OP should just press charges now. Is she simply unhinged? Anne is disgusting and deserves no apology. It was revolting. That's the only reason I can think of as to why everyone could be defending her - things like this can really fracture families and they all probably want OP to just be quiet and keep the peace. OP, there are a lot of couples who have successful relationships irrespective of age, so I dont think anyone should judge as people/relationships are so different. NTA. What you said that she shouldnt do that even if it was true, also is right. Do an intervention on your brother ( even send him this thread). Let us know how this goes, If she thought he was cheating then she should have confronted HIM not "the other women". I understand that you want to protect your brother from this girl, but his relationship is honestly non of your business. GET OUTTA HERE, I think you mean rich and emotionally stunted if youre referring to the age gap, https://images.app.goo.gl/6h1UK7untcsBPg7E7. I wouldnt want that person anywhere near me. Oh, and local private high school girls regularly carry out this type of behaviour so it is very childish behaviour. IMHO you were more than kind to say "Keep the crazy away from me." Even he knows better. In case you're not familiar with the movie--check out this scene: https://youtu.be/T57JxWuxjVU. The point is, this isn't the equivalent of a crime of passion. Yeah, this, and I would also bet that her being this unhinged over him possibly cheating makes him feel super manly and valued and whatever. And then you will consider accepting her apology. That's not a normal (or even acceptable) reaction to potential cheating, but then she hasn't even paid to cover the damages when she realized the mistake? My car is the most expensive lifeline I own, probably the same for you unless you own your own home too. I don't blame you for not wanting to meet her. I have a friend who, when we were our teens, was harassed by a guy. He needs to understand the gravity of the situation. When I said that to him, he just repeated "But she thought I was cheating!" That woman is a psycho. Men put up with crazy sh*t for a little . Also, your brother is pretty disgusting for dating a 21yo when he's in his 30s. Does she always a overreact this way..? Thats revolting & its obvious shes not just immature bc of her age, but batshit crazy. I do not blame you never wanting to meet little miss crazy a$$!! I mean, presumably after 5 months this girl at least is aware he HAS a sister, and could have taken half a second to consider the possibility that the woman he was with was - in fact - his sister. You can almost certainly get a restraining order against her which will keep her away from family functions. Anyone suggesting otherwise can get bent. She didn't mistakenly destroy someone else's private property, just screwed up when deciding whose property to destroy. Period. Yeah sure that was a snarky little comment but also he shouldnt be dating a 21 year old if he cant handle one snarky comment but more importantly what she did was waaaaay out of line. You'd have to file a police report, and they'd have to request it. She's obviously struggling with some sort of psychosis. I really hope your brother eventually recognizes how mentally unhealthy Anne's actions were. She is batshit crazy. Egyptians got that one right lol. I don't know. Your property was damaged for literally no reason. Beyond that, I hate it when people get angry over a cheating partner and direct that anger at the 3rd party. Nta. Your brother for cradlerobbing and his girlfriend for being a violent psycho, and your family members for thinking you are at all at fault for any of this. When you blame bad behavior on a mental illness, you make the actual lives of people who actually have that illness SO much harder. NTA. Dont feel guilty and make sure he pays for the damages. Get a lawyer this minute. If he was cheating she might not have known he had a gf. SHE SHOULD BE EMBARRESSED. NTA - dear God, this is boiling bunnies level nutzo. NTA. I'm in my early 30s as well, and if any of my friends dated someone younger than even 25, we'd all have questions. Not crazy, nta. Block both of them and call the cops already!!! Fair. Most of my friends are women so I can relate. I hope no one in the family owns a rabbit. You are definitely NTA and Anne's behaviour was disgusting. What about the emotional damage to you to find that mess? Before the incident I don't get what your issue was with her. No girl at that age wants an older man unless shes got other problems going on clouding her judgement and everyone I know whose been in that type of situation eventually has gotten out of it and felt so much disgust and regret idk I know Im going hard but I really hate when grown ass adults go for people whose brain isnt even developed. Can you see if you can get security footage of her actually doing this? NTA. Danger danger danger. You can also apologize for being an AH before the incident. make them do it anyway, i'm sure it wasn't cheap! Did you already have some inkling it may have been her before you knew for sure? But the second I read about the car and you started describing what happened to it, I went "yeah, jealous, gross immature brat syndrome.". NTA, this would've been unacceptable to do anyone, regardless of cheating or not. Keep any trace of this. 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