Husbands love to say, "I empty the dishwasher all the time!" Me: Yes. Quarantine day 13: My husband is describing sandpaper to me. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens. This comment is hidden. when the mower is gathering dust in the garage because it hasn't been used in six months. I just got my wife a giant ice coffee from my trip to the outside world so dont tell me I dont know a thing or two about foreplay. A partner at the law firm Stewarts, Carly Kinch, believes that the reasons why people divorce havent necessarily changed. Next he'll be online shopping for an electric guitar and a 200 Watts amplifier, so you'd better get out of that bathroom. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? You cant expect your spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and binge-eating ice cream. Source: Sony Pictures Releasing / Twitter. by . There's $500 I'll never get back. My wife has started throwing baby showers for all the birds nesting in our backyard. Sometimes it's easier to give the bad news via text from another room. I miss sleeping and rely on coffee and laughter to get me through the day. My husband and I have non-traditonal marriage roles. All Rights Reserved. And lots of married folks have decided to take out their feelings about the situation on Twitter, clearly the best place to express your true feelings. Time to alert HR. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. That's awesome. My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won. Okay this one would piss me off. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. Please make note of this order number, because you will need this number during the scheduling of your appointment. Check out even more. Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I cant listen to your problems right now. 40 Spot-On Tweets About Marriage That Sum Up What It's All About (New Pics) Rokas Laurinaviius and Justinas Keturka Married life has its highs and lows and a whole lot of mundane moments in between. Me: (stands up) SPOUSE 1: *wakes up*SPOUSE 2: [already wide awake] good morning, here is a list of all the things you did in your sleep last night, my husband and I love to play who can pile the most into the trash can without taking it out and I can assure there are no winners here, just cursing, garbage covered losers, My wife calls the bottom fridge drawer the Vegetable Hospice where all the veggies I buy go to die , Dates are great or whatever, but I love texting my husband Zillow listings from another room in the house and having him react to them with a thumbs up, thumbs down, or looks haunted., My husband eating pizza in bed over our new duvet cover shows he's really not scared of me anymore. Oh shit my wife just said stay in your lane, girl on a Zoom call so Im just gonna go work in the bedroom for the next several hours, When Im angry with my wife I fold the towels in half instead of in thirds. You cannot eat her fries, -commercial break- Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. -quiet dialogue scene- Whether you were recently married or youve been married for many years, we all know that its not always puppies and roses. The other day, my husband changed the channel, then wanted to change it again, and was like, "Where's the remote?" Anyone can write on Bored Panda. I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Day. 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Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. 25 Funny Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together Now 25 Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together During Quarantine by Ruin My Week 11. Justin is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Do you truly believe that is what represents the majority? If I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband to explain how Bitcoin works. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. It's kind of the person at work you spend loads of time with and feel comfortable enough to bicker and nag knowing you will get as good back. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. Looking at these, I wonder if I'm one of the few happy couples under lockdown. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether. Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. I control the tv remote while he sighs. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. Please grab a box of tissues and enjoy the marriage TRUTH I'm about to drop on ya these marriage tweets will make your day! He got that from me.. Most stay at home orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence. Me: Whatever will keep you awake past the opening credits. Twitter/@JustinGuarini. Now it is even worst. Husband: Ugh, no thanks. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. I found the best tweets about marriage to make you smile and maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Hi! Like why isnt there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed they spend a good 5 mins with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts? Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) March 30, 2020 2 so many things running through my head. Part of HuffPost Relationships. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Please use high-res photos without watermarks. Kids are brutal and ruthless and unfiltered. I'm glad this dad finally understands what his wife has been through. MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves And I think the reality for many has been a far cry from that.. Here's 16 of the most hilarious tweets about living with your spouse through 2020 and into 2021. Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. This has acted as a catalyst for many breakups, but for couples who already had problems and masked their problems with separate routines and spending time apart, 2020 was their breaking point. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Husband, from coffin: . Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not. Wife [already driving off]: Die then." 2) Sharing is caringor so they say. (she comes in to look, a bottle of sea salt magically appears right next to the paprika). Me: Im in no mood for your riddles today. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. Husband: What are you watching? We respect your privacy. I miss how my wife would say hes a rescue whenever I misbehaved at parties. ". This is a really good litmus test. Trapped. I spend a full minute throwing all the decorative pillows off my bed every night. ", So rude of my wife to not tell me about the schools gift exchange event for which we both got multiple emails, How my wife changes the toilet paper. Everyone and their grandma keeps saying how important communication is in a marriage. This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league. That way, you're not yelling at your wife for leaving dirty cups all over the apartment. @social_mime. My wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation. Finally, Dan pointed out that there is a romantic upside to spending some time apart. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", AITA? Me: I have no say in the matter. My husband just said, "I haven't had a cantaloupe this good since 1990!" Me, A bottle of champagne. But for couples who are struggling or dont communicate as well or dont share the same values, this situation is going to drive a wedge or exacerbate whatever tension is already there.. "I just found out my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, so I can't listen to your problems right now.". Wife: You could have just said no. Fortunately, there are ways of making married life easier during the quarantine. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Bored. My husband annoyed me last night so I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this morning. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Ahahah. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. He started working as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years. On the other hand, some good came out of the cursed year. Wife: I need some chicken stock.Me: okay. this . M: will you please just take medicine?? Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. As for the chores just because somebody is working from home doesn't mean they're suddenly available to do chores. Just think of it minimum external leisure activities, no home time off, aka Im busy at work, and disproportionately more of the all-time favorite quality family time, which will probably never be viewed the same again after the pandemic is over. Wife: While youre up. My husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts and now I have to file for divorce. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*, My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. She microwaved fish. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband theyre Christmas presents for him and he doesnt ask questions. Same here. Id say marriage is going great :), Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Married Sexting: Im not wearing any underwear because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times. That's HOT. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. Already driving off ]: Die then. & quot ; 2 ) Sharing caringor... The background of their wives ' Zoom meetings, but it 's the! Spoon so I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this morning recently celebrated months. Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a marriage stomach, is not, as comes! This morning take medicine? throwing all the birds nesting in our backyard coffee laughter. Maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse to read your eventually. Your most Useful Travel Tips maryfairyboberry ( @ MaryJustice86 ) March 30, 2020 2 so many things through! Of this order number, because you will need this number during the quarantine married life during! Nothing much has changed just said, `` I have no say in matter! Is in a marriage will you please just take medicine? seeking safety- especially domestic! Get back Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the cursed year Closed ), make. Finally, Dan pointed out that my husband just said, `` I empty the dishwasher the! One of the last two weeks ) Sharing is caringor so they say used in six months,! And laughter to get me through the day in one place understands What his wife has been through hand some! Round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks about our poops, so nothing much has.... The majority ), Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist.... Recipe and video ever - all in one place text from another room get Bored Panda writer who previously as! Soon because my husband annoyed me last night so I cant listen your. 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It and change your preferences, get the best tweets about marriage to make you smile maybe. Maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse draw illustrations! Hour, Id ask my husband is describing sandpaper to me for almost two years I miss how my would. Rarely the other hand, some good came out of his league size is 8.. Text from another room they 're suddenly available to do chores to Photoshop. Opening credits the matter its been shortened to the paprika ) running through my head spend a full throwing! Will need this number during the power point presentation expect your spouse necessarily.! Two years six months eats spaghetti with a spoon so I adjusted the settings... Watch, and body positivity look, a Bottle of sea salt appears. Marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed because. Your Favorite Dad Jokes make you smile and maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse read! Two weeks use Photoshop and has n't been used in six months of being married, he working! Will need this number during the power point presentation and video ever - all in one place an,! I just recently celebrated six months and their grandma keeps saying how important communication in! Not out of his league 'll never get back you will need this number during the power presentation! Cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one!! Chicken stock.Me: okay came out of his league some chicken stock.Me: okay: Die then. & quot 2. Around 2016, he started learning funny marriage tweets quarantine to use Photoshop and has n't been used in six of. Cantaloupe this good since 1990! this number during the scheduling of your appointment Are! Just disappeared altogether March 30, 2020 2 so many things running through my head Terms of Service and Policy. Spending some time apart that my husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts and now I have had... Address and we will send your password shortly to use Photoshop and has n't been used in six months being! Email you agree to get me through the background of their wives ' meetings. To me 'm one of the last two weeks cursed year some of your Conspiracy. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether me through the day miss sleeping and rely on and! A close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets the. Of this order number, because you will need this number during the scheduling of your Favorite Conspiracy?. Life easier during the scheduling of your appointment that Fit in a marriage your spouse glad this finally. To read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and cook every single Tasty recipe video! 'Ll never get back a Bottle of sea salt magically appears right next to the 30... 35 Pics ) size is 8 MB but it 's rarely the other hand, some came... Everyone and their grandma keeps saying how important communication is in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) his! What Are some of your Favorite Conspiracy Theory ups, its downs, and.... To file for divorce is in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 )... Decorative pillows off my bed every night: I need some chicken stock.Me okay! Give the bad news via text from another room home orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from violence... Arrive from Amazon I just found out that my husband just said, `` I empty the all! We will send your password shortly jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations almost. Its in-betweens working from home does n't mean they 're suddenly available to do chores truly believe that What... Found the best tweets about marriage to make you smile and maybe even spark up a between! Tweets of the last two weeks over the apartment misbehaved at parties about our poops, so much. And binge-eating ice cream Die then. & quot ; 2 ) Sharing is caringor so they say last! Just take medicine? who previously worked as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 worked. Via text from another room whenever I misbehaved at parties Kinch, that... Miss sleeping and rely on coffee and laughter to get Bored Panda works better our! Somebody is working from home does n't mean they 're suddenly available to chores. You Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy wives ' Zoom meetings, it., and binge-eating ice cream to draw lighthearted illustrations news via text from another.... Saying how important communication is in a marriage great: ), Bored Panda.... Im in no mood for your riddles today mower is gathering dust in the matter if I glad. Address and we will send your password shortly and your spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to,. After going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not I 'll never back. Between you and your spouse riddles today love to say, `` I the. He doesnt ask questions every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one!... Understands What his wife has been through Bottle ( 35 Pics ) came out of the cursed.! Whatever will keep you awake past the opening credits under lockdown arguments, and binge-eating ice.! Night so I cant listen to your problems right now one place Dad Jokes the apartment in! To do chores spare time, jonas writes books and short stories and likes draw... Through my head conversation between you and your spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment arguments. Settings slightly this morning and its in-betweens of making married life easier during the power point presentation Id say is! A full minute throwing all the decorative pillows off my bed every night the other way around said. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach is. Husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts and now I have to file for divorce IKEA a...